What to say to someone you’ve just met

The first ten seconds

You don’t need a clever line. People decide in the first few seconds whether a chat feels friendly, and that comes from your face more than your words.

1. Smile and say hi first. Both people are nervous; going first takes that away for them.
2. Say one thing you can both see: the light, a guitar on the wall, that it’s clearly late where they are.
3. Then ask one easy question from the lists below. An observation plus a question is the whole trick.

Easy openers

Light, friendly, and easy to answer on the spot.

1. What have you been into lately?
2. What’s the last thing that made you laugh?
3. What’s the best thing you ate this week?
4. What are you listening to at the moment?
5. What would you do with a completely free day?
6. What’s a small win you had this week?
7. What show would you recommend right now?
8. What could you talk about for hours?
9. What’s the last thing you learned?
10. What song is stuck in your head?

About their corner of the world

Random video chat connects people from everywhere. These ask about someone’s world without asking where they live.

1. Is it morning or night for you right now?
2. What’s a food from where you are that everyone should try?
3. What does a normal Saturday look like for you?
4. What’s a word in your language that English is missing?
5. What’s the most underrated place you’ve ever been?
6. What’s something people always get wrong about your country?

Playful ones

Good when the first answers are short and the mood needs a lift.

1. Would you rather talk to animals or speak every human language?
2. What’s a completely useless skill you’re proud of?
3. What’s your most unpopular food opinion?
4. Which fictional world would you move to?
5. If you could master one instrument overnight, which one?
6. What would the warning label on you say?
7. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?
8. Cats, dogs, or neither? Defend your answer.

A little deeper, once it’s going

Only when the conversation is already easy. None of these ask for anything private.

1. What’s something you changed your mind about recently?
2. What are you looking forward to?
3. What small thing makes a day good for you?
4. Who taught you something you still use all the time?
5. What are you proud of that nobody ever asks about?
6. If you had a free year, what would you learn?

How to keep it going

• Ask the follow-up. “Why that one?” or “What was that like?” turns an answer into a conversation.
• Share something back. A question after every answer feels like an interview. Trade: they answer, you add yours.
• Follow the long answers. When someone talks longer about one thing, that’s the topic they want.
• A pause is fine. Smile, say “okay, new topic”, and pick another opener. It’s a video chat, not an exam.
• Use the chat box for names of songs, shows or places, so neither of you has to spell them out loud.

When it isn’t working

Some chats don’t click, and that’s the point of random: the next one might. Say “nice talking to you” and press Next. You don’t owe anyone a long conversation, and a quick Next from someone else says nothing about you.

Openers to skip

• “How old are you?” or “Where exactly do you live?” Personal details make people wary, and they should.
• “Male or female?” as the first thing. It reads as a filter, and people press Next.
• “What’s your Instagram?” in the first minute. Let the conversation be the point.
• Anything sexual. It breaks the rules, and it gets connections blocked.
• “Hi” and then silence. Say one more sentence. That’s all it takes.

Practicing a language?

Say so at the start: “I’m practicing my English, is that okay?” Plenty of people are happy to help, speak a little slower, and tell you a word you’re missing. Ask them to correct you, and offer to do the same in your language.

Questions people ask